Wednesday, February 11, 2015

The Gift of the Present Moment

Tonight, I came home, tired and grappling with a resentment...and there she was. Happy to see me, tail wagging so hard it banged against the wall. I took her outside to relieve herself and found that she actually took me on a walk, perhaps to relieve myself. She walked me down the block further and further away from the apartment. I kept looking back, anxious I had not locked the door. But something about her confidence in leading me down this street seemed to say I was in good hands. I am safe.

After we were far enough a way she buried her nose in the fresh early spring grass, and I looked up and noticed a couple constellations I otherwise would not have. I felt breath coming in and tension leaving me. Perhaps I am reading too much into what was most certainly just a quick dog walk. Or perhaps for a moment I really let go and this little being knew exactly what I needed. Perhaps the universe and my dog conspired to show me that if I let go a little, even for just a walk down the street, the world will promise fresh new ground and a sky full of stars.

Thursday, February 5, 2015

Well, well, little blog...we meet again

So, I don't know what to say for myself other than I have had a total swing of the pendulum as of late and have retreated from the tentacles of online life, desperately trying to free myself back into my small corner of privacy in the world. Let's just say, I hit a point, both physically and emotionally where I felt exposed in a way that did not feel good. And I say free myself back into privacy because that is exactly what it has felt like. I deactivated my Facebook account just after Thanksgiving and to be honest, I have not missed it one minute. Sure, I have missed staying in touch with my friends in New Zealand and Myanmar and all my girls back East. But, I also know that these friendships can stand the test of time without social media. For most of them, we became friends before there was a Facebook or a Twitter. And I have found that Instagram has become the best social media platform for those friendships of mine that really thrive on short quips, inside jokes and stories. (Yes, I am still on Instagram @rewindrevise, and I love it!) I keep Instagram as my one social media tool right now that keeps me in touch enough and removed enough. I am also technically on Twitter but I never really post there (unless it is through Instagram). I have to say I never got into the whole Twitter thing. I think it is great for the really funny and the really sarcastic and the really political, and none of those are my full time thing. But, shifting online life out of focus has allowed me to put into focus my still very disjointed life here in California and I think it has helped. I no longer feel depressed or completely heartbroken over leaving New York. I am actually starting to enjoy this alternative lifestyle out here, even with the unsteadiness of 3 freelance part time jobs. I am somehow piecing something together here that finally feels like it is moving rather than having me push it forward like a rock up a boulder. I also have found some really cool new creative outlets with some of these juggling opportunities, one that has led me to write a couple theatre reviews for  If you are so inclined, you can check out my review of The Whipping Man up today!

Mike and Maple
My life in California is definitely a new chapter for lots of reasons - some big and obvious and some small and feisty, like this little light of mine: Maple. And of course there is Mike, who I have never seen so happy in a job and so comfortable in a climate.

It has been a special time in that we have been living with my father which has been pretty cool and unique. While Mike, Maple, and I are moving into our own place at the end of the month, I will always treasure this time I have had with my father and my husband and my pup as this really special period in my life where I truly got the best of both worlds.

I don't have much else I want to share right now. But I wanted to say hello out there and write some words again and let the big bad internet know, that even though I've been a stranger, I'm still incredibly grateful you exist!