Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Ten Mistakes You Will Make in College (if you are anything like me)

Me at my high school graduation in 1999
To the graduating classes of 2014, congratulations and your welcome. Here are ten mistakes you will make in college if you are anything like me. May your life lessons be learned quickly and hopefully only once, your hangovers be less wicked, and your tattoos be un-trendy.

1. You will cheat on someone. But don't beat yourself up about it because someone will cheat on you. Try your best to stay away from those who are dating your friends.

2. You will think you magically don't have a hangover and come to realize mid-class, that you do indeed have a hangover. You were just still drunk when you woke up.

3. You will forget which one goes first several times. For the record, it's "liquor before beer, you're in the clear." But, don't worry, you will forget reading this.

4. You will find yourself at some point pleading before a professor for leniency and most likely you will make up some excuse by invoking a dead relative. Don't feel bad. Everybody gets one.

5. You will think whiskey sours are delicious.

6. You will try on several bad haircuts and bad hair dyes and acquire at least one tattoo you will regret ten years later. See: Tramp Stamp Thursdays. 

7. You will work out in old gym clothes from high school. Not cool.

8. You will listen to obscure indie bands and whether you realize it or not, you will secretly think this "unique" taste in music makes you superior.

9. You will bitch about your roommate while unknowingly disrespecting them in similar ways you feel they are disrespecting you.

10.  If you leave your hometown to go to school, over time you will think you have lost touch with said hometown. But, one day you will come to realize just how much you treasure this hometown and all of the beautiful people it has to offer who also so graciously accept your return.

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