Tuesday, August 28, 2012

The Ritual in SpiRitual

Since Thursday, I have made it a point to exercise every day and amazingly, after only six days I can feel the anxiety quieting, the mood shifting, the ground beneath my feet a bit more solid. That moment I have been waiting for, when I was going to start really focusing on what I want and how I would like to feel and look for my wedding day finally met that moment where I could no longer take my lethargy and the stomach aches from eating the wrong foods. I am trying to NOT be all or nothing about this diet and exercise thing but I can't help that after a morning run, I feel like a peach not an egg and cheese sandwich.

But beyond exercise and eating well, I have been creating the space for a morning ritual for myself. I have been waking up early, despite the first few days where it was torture and despite my long love affair with the snooze button. I have found that I actually need 30 minutes a day where I am not working or rushing to work or taking on one of my millions of extracurricular activities. I actually need that quiet space where I sit down with a cup of coffee and just breathe. Once I could let go of the idea that waking up early was somehow "punishing" and that I needed to sleep in, that I deserved to sleep in, it turns out I have given myself a much bigger gift. I give myself the time to read my daily meditation. I give myself the time to check in with body and see where I feel tension. I give myself the time to reflect on yesterday and think about what I may want for myself today.

Today, I want to surrender. I want to surrender the constant compulsion that I have to make something happen with my life. I choose to be happy today with what I have and not focus on what I don't have. I want to revel in all of the things to look forward to in my life instead of complaining about the hard work some of them include. I want to be thankful for my friends, especially C, who reminded me yesterday that I'm allowed to receive without apology and to another friend who reminded me that more will be revealed if I keep the faith and keep on, keepin' on.  My life is rich and my mornings are beginning to help me see just what a rich woman I am.

3 comments:

Carmen said...

i love that extra morning time

daleboca said...

I need to get up at 4am to have it, but I love it too

Erin said...

a clear and consistent morning routine is the biggest gift i got out of my yoga teacher training...having a routine seems to make it easier for me to get myself up and out of bed in the AM even though I am getting up earlier.
And for someone who works from home, I think it is really important to have a routine that marks the transition from home life to work life.