Thursday, July 12, 2012

Meltdowns 101: Top Ten Things (for a Bride-to-Be) Not to Do

[Extra bonus tip: Post pictures of
yourself in a wedding dress you did not buy]
If you feel you are on the verge of a meltdown here is a list of things NOT to do:

1. Go to a spin class, a total body work out class, and boot camp back to back.  Don't worry, if you're impending meltdown won't stop you, your torn hamstrings will.

2. Diet. Inevitably you will find yourself starved and stressed with a glass of wine, hunks of cheese, and potato chips in front of you.

3.  Look at other wedding dresses after you have already bought yours of which you are sure you will not fit into, so much so that you have still not picked it up.

4. Eat dinner outside right at the lovely twilight hour when the sun sets and bloodsucking mosquitoes come out and chew up your legs and feet turning a romantic dinner into three days of hellish rashes and fiery feet.

5. Have an answer ready when people ask you if they are invited to your wedding, tell you that you have to invite so and so,  and another answer ready when people ask if they can bring a date.

6. Wear uncomfortable shoes. Nothing goes better together than an impending meltdown, a heat wave, and blisters.

7.  Drink. You want to lose it? Have a drink. Hoover's Dam has nothing on a glass of Pinot Grigio.

8. Shop. There is no amount of retail therapy that will take away the anxiety of an over-extended guest list and table assignments. Even if you think that sexy black dress will totally make you happy when you pull it out for that romantic dinner, your brain will forget about it sitting in your closet as will the mosquitoes forget about your sanity as they happily suck away.

9. Compulsively check facebook as a way to escape. You will find yourself emotional over trending articles on the rise and fall of famous Olympians from the 90s or opening yet another social media account. (Le sigh, Spotify)

10. Tell your fiance you are just "kinda freaking out." They know. But if you are interested in making a mountain out of a mole hill, this is a way to acquire a shovel.

Bonus Tip: Post a list like this on a blog. I kid, folks, I kid. All's well on the Eastern front...right?

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