Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Lessons I'm Learning to Lead a Somewhat Manageable Life

1. If you can't figure out why your coat won't zip, it might be because your trying to force the inner zipper to zip with the outer zipper. Don't force a solution.

2. When you become extremely angry at a colleague for asking to relay a message for her even though your not her fucking assistant, you are not really angry at that colleague. In fact, you may be angry at something that happened over the weekend, but because you didn't want to make a big deal about it and didn't process it, you ended up giving yourself a bad Monday. Sometimes, trying to skip over the mess and trying to be perfect or "the bigger person" just leaves you disconnected from your feelings and plants the seed for a resentment that will grow like dandelions blowing over a prairie. You don't know where those seeds will land but one day you will look out on your field and wonder how you got so many fucking weeds.

3. You can start your day over at any time.

4. Just because you rolled over on something you actually didn't agree to doesn't mean you are stuck with that decision. It's never too late to get up and stand up for yourself. And if you find yourself rolling over again, don't beat yourself up about it. Life is full of rolling and standing, rolling and standing.

5. You have as much time as you would like. Appreciate your minutes by accepting where you are, right here in this moment, right here on this planet. Look around.

6. There is always time to stop and smell the roses.

7.  It's nice to believe in something bigger than yourself. The world feels a lot more welcoming when you are not in charge of it. Problems don't feel so heavy and loneliness begins to turn on itself when you start to believe or even just pretend that a peculiar occurrence may just be something more mysterious and more purposeful and more infinitely profound that you can possibly imagine.

8. A piece of chocolate a day is more than just a treat. It's a way of life.

9. When you're hungry, angry, tired, lonely, or cold - STOP. Eat something, sit down, warm yourself and maybe that will take care of the rest.

10. Keep moving - for your body, for your mind, and for your wallet. Clothes are expensive and nothing feels more frustrating than to have to buy "a size up."

11. People are not interested in your opinion unless they ask for it. Even if you think it's just a "helpful suggestion," a "friendly piece of advice," if it is unsolicited it will most often come out like judgment. Get out of people's ways (including your own.)

12. You live in a city. Wash your hands every chance you get.

13. In a conversation, how much listening are you doing and how much waiting to talk are you doing? Sometimes silence is all people really need to figure out their own shit. Sometimes listening can be enough for you to figure out your own shit.

14. People cannot read your mind. Likewise, you cannot read theirs. Don't assume anything. Say what you mean, but don't say it mean.

15. Keep it simple and don't give excuses. If you can't make it to that party, that lunch date, that soccer game - you can't make it. But, if you don't go to the gym, don't say I didn't make it. Own it - I didn't feel like it, okay?!

16. Life may give you lemons, but you can do whatever the fuck you want with them.

17. When your brother tells you he is chilling out for a few minutes before a big audition, that is not the time to complain about something happening in your life. Even if you caught yourself and apologized for usurping his few moments of peace, help a brother out and nip that shit in the bud. (Next time, next time.) Likewise, when people are eating at work, they are probably on their lunch break. Send an email. And when they bother you on your lunch break, ask them to send an email. Continue your lunch.

18. When someone offers you a hug, accept it.

19. Pay attention. It's your job as a human being.  Don't drive, talk, or walk while texting - ever.

20. Love. Love. Love.


Mike said...

Such a wise list from such a young person.

Lindsey said...

You're making me blush!

Carmen said...

good list. thank you for all those reminders/articulations

Erin said...

great post!
i love #2 about the weeds... so true. my field overfloweth!
#3 is key and also really hard to master.
enjoyed reading this, especially after a tough week!

Jenn and Casey said...

I really love this post. Especially the lemons ;)

Lindsey said...

Thanks for the comments! Erin, I too have a field that overfloweth. Good thing there's weed whackers. xo