* The ability to identify the scent of a dead mouse
* How to dodge puke and dog shit while texting
* The perception that $1600 is "not bad" for a shoebox apartment in a "not bad" location
* I just can't wear heels
* If an entire bench is clear when you step on the subway, don't sit there
* Earthquakes CAN happen in New York
* The kinds of flip flops you wear in LA are not flip flops you can wear in NYC
* If you think that mentally ill homeless man is getting ready to spit on your pedicured bare feet in your skimpy LA flip flops, your instinct is correct
* Do not tell the cab driver that you are "going to Brooklyn." Instead say "7th Avenue," then get in the cab, close the door and add "in Brooklyn!"
* Movie theatres in New York will never add up to movie theatres is LA
* When you hear good music, give the man (or woman) a dollar!
* Do not give out money to anyone on the subway unless they just sang you a really good version of a Tracy Chapman song or did a back flip off the hand rail.
* You cannot wear short skirts and tight shirts together. In New York, you choose: tits or ass.
* Whatever you do, do not bite your fingernails, lest the bubonic plague befall you after riding a packed subway car.
* When people say "let's go to the beach!" they really mean "do you want to take a 2 hour train ride with me, spend 3-4 hours on the beach and then take a 2 hour train ride back with me today?"
* Explaining that you were late because of "train issues" always works
* New Yorkers don't give a shit about famous people
* Women here are normal-sized and they look damn good
* Always dress like you might run into someone you'd like to impress, because you will
*You can take a picture of any spot in NYC and with the clever use of Instagram or even not using an effect at all, make it look like art.