Saturday, December 10, 2011

Denis and Ten Goddamn Lords A-Leaping



It was Denis’s 60th Christmas and his father, Bill’s, 85th.  The last ten years had not been kind to Bill with the passing of his wife and onset of senility.  But if there was one thing old age gave him, it was the freedom from having to censor his wicked humor. When his granddaughter showed up with a pierced eyebrow, he blurted, “Holy Jumping Reindeer balls!” When his grandson introduced his busty girlfriend he asked, “Whad’ja  smuggle in two elves?” Embarrassed and stressed out, Denis escaped outside to check on the twinkling lights. He ducked behind the garage and lit a secret cigarette. Suddenly a hand landed on him from behind. Denis leapt in the air as he let out a litany of curse words: Holy-shit-goddamn-lordy-fucking-son-of-a-btch-shit-godamn-asshole-GODDAMNIT! Bill smiled, took the cigarette from Denis’s mouth, took his own drag and chuckled, “Ten Goddamn Lords A-Leaping.” 

4 comments:

blogdramedy said...

Why do all the best things happen behind the house, wood shed, school... :-)

Lindsey said...

Ha! You said it!

HKGK Gang said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
bill lisleman said...

I never got around to all the players. I know I read one or two here but it got too busy toward the end. The title brought me to this one. 60 is just around the corner and I wish I could swear up a long list with my dad a few more times. Ah who knows maybe he can still hear me.