Sunday, August 14, 2011

rainy day ruminations

 I woke up today feeling very blue and I have no reason. I have to think it is the weather. I don't think the daily dose of California sunshine will ever leave my bones. Rainy days make me homesick. And this particular rainy day reminded me that fall is just around the corner. In many ways, I am ready for fall. I'm ready for sweaters and jeans and I think I'm ready to turn 30 and begin that chapter. But I also love the heat. When I leave the over-air conditioned gym and step outside into the muggy weather, I sigh, a sigh of relief. I suppose today is a good day to write, but even that has me down. I just want something more, right now. I feel ready for a change and I know it will come the more I lead my life with an open heart, but shit, it is testing my patience. I guess that may be the point. The last time it was raining like this on a Sunday, I walked forever in the rain without an umbrella to meet up with Tara for one of our four-hour brunches. I miss her, especially today. Last night I dreamt I was pregnant, again. What is up, body? Geez. If I wasn't listening to my biological clock before, it is invading even my subconscious now! But, don't worry, Mike, not yet. I have found a new musician I am deeply in love with - Florence + The Machine. I know I am late to this party, but damn, she is good. "I'm in the grip of a hurricane," she sings. Didn't I just write about that last week? She is singing to my soul right now! Alright, rewindrevise, thanks for the little pick me up. I'm doing everything I can today to kick those blues- a spin class, a core class, coffee from my favorite cafe, blog writing, keep moving. Isn't that the secret to life? To keep moving.    

2 comments:

Mike said...

I don't think the secret to life is to keep moving. I think it's something else. I'll tell you later...

daleboca said...

I felt very blue yesterday also. i thankfully did not dream i was pregnant. i think i may have dreamt about going away and leaving you with 2 or 3 kids:) i think i am ready for routine and fall as well. or to move to mozambique. i am feeling what you are feeling sista