Monday, February 28, 2011

Cool Whip

Last night, after watching the Oscars, Mike, Tara, Ayinde and me all packed into Mike's truck to drive back to Brooklyn. I think we laughed the entire way home which led up to a conversation about the pronuciation of "Cool Whip." Mike insists on pronouncing Cool Whip with a soft sounding "w" like they do in the South or more famously coined by Stewie on Family Guy. It annoys me to no end since Mike is from Jersey and he mispronounces the word just to push my buttons. But the comedy came in when Tara could not pronounce it the way Mike said it. She could not understand the concept of a soft w, silent h sound, when suddenly Mike said, you know, as in "wHat do you want?" We erupted into laughter over nothing before dropping them off. I've been friends with Tara for over ten years now, but only in the last year and half have we been able to see each other on a regular basis since when we lived together when we were 18! Sometimes, I get a little homesick for family. I see them having birthday parties and barbeques through video posts and pictures on facebook. But then, I'll hang out with Tara and remember that I've had family out here all along.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Writing Prompt: Vanishing

In between the words
"love" and "Mom"
lies a comma
a mark like ice melting
a drop
for that moment when you are meant
to pause
I'm not asking you to love me,
just telling you
just as a whisper
comes across the screen
or inked in paper
the hallmark kind
where the comma
is a week or two
or a month
of time
where she and i become
no more than a comma
between the words
"Mother" and "daughter"
We vanish slowly
from each other
like tinkerbell's light
but no one is clapping
only shining,
the light from my computer screen
The vanishing woman is here.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Great Expectations

I am finally starting to see that my expectations for other people are unrealistically high. Probably because my expectations of myself are also unrealistically high. Now the trick is to learn how NOT to take it personally when someone doesn't meet those expectations. Just because I think it is reasonable, doesn't mean that it is.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011


So, I was doing pretty good with trying to keep up with those prompts and then I completely fell off. Which is another way to say that I lost my focus. I have found that I even keep myself busy at work with mindless tasks just to make sure I do not focus or think about what I need for myself. Again, I have a full plate and part of me is wondering if I will ever get to a place, where having little to do feels like a lot. It's like if I'm not doing something every minute, I feel like I could be or should be. Yesterday, I woke up at 5:50, went to the gym (even though I still can't run)worked out until 7, came back showered, grabbed breakfast on the run, still left the house late, read a book for coveraae on the subway, got to work, did not stop doing several tasks until I took a walk and even then it was to go on an errand, came back, worked some more, the minute work is over I met a new tutoring student (which I'm thrilled about!) in the lobby, met for an hour then went back to the subway, read more of my book for coverage, once exiting the subway I made a phone call on my way home, once home started an email, went to a meeting, came home, made a phone call, finished a lengthy email, and by the time I was supposed to go to dinner with Mike, we just ordered in. We ate at 9:40 at night! After a nice dinner and dessert with him, I went back to the internet and found myself obsessively checking craigslist to see if there are any loft apartments anywhere in nyc that i will one day be able to afford. After losing track for 30 minutes (!) it was way past bedtime and of course my mind had not stopped so going to sleep was a struggle and then I was passed out. Here I am, trying to focus on my "serenity" and taking it easy so I don't overwhelm myself and even that has just become another task to squeeze in. It's so hard to abandon what I am so good at doing.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Writing Prompt - Rushing

Ah, what a perfect prompt for today. Although I went to sleep past midnight last night, I was determined to get up this morning and go to the Y (YMCA) where they have an 1/8 mile track. After running 24 laps, I decided to skip the last eight and move to lunges and squats. It had been two days since I did my leg exercises and feeling ambitious, I grabbed a 12-lb bar to accompany my lunges. After about 22 lunges, I lunged my right foot forward and as I dipped, I heard a crack, snapple, pop like a goddamn cereal and felt a rush of pain to my hip flexor. The sound and immediate flash of pain were so intense I swore I felt my leg immediately swell. I rushed home to ice it and while sitting on my couch at 6:50 a.m. on a Friday morning after 5 1/2 hours of sleep, nursing a potentially torn hip flexor I felt  old and I felt like an asshole. I don't know why I have to always make it hard for myself. If I had taken my time, maybe walked a few extra laps and cooled down, maybe stretched, maybe eased back into lunges without the extra 12 pound bar, I may have avoided this morning ice pack. But, instead I always must force things upon myself-force a solution, force an intense workout, force an extra responsibility. Today was a good reminder that I need to listen more to my body instead of my brain.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011


The world just got a little bit bigger
and a whole lot brighter.
Welcome, to the two littles
we've all been waiting for!!!

Cheers to a good night's rest for their incredible mother!


Thursday, February 3, 2011

Writing Prompt 24: Cookies. Candy. Cake

Ass. Thighs. Tummy.

Writing Prompt 23: Burned

A couple years ago, my cousin-in-law's stepfather dropped dead in the middle of a Karate class. Caridac arrest. He died within a minute. While getting ready for the funeral, I knew it would be an all day event and I was rushing to make some food. For the first and last time in my life I microwaved an egg, a trick someone had told me about how to get a hard-boiled egg in a minute. The microwave dinged and I pulled the piping egg out and quickly peeled its burning hot shell. It was a perfect hard boiled egg. Without thinking, I bit into it and the egg exploded in my face with a pocket of scalding steam releasing just above my lips and into my nose. I burned my lips, the space above my lips, my gums, my nostrils, and my nose so badly, that I had to sit through the funeral with an ice pack and wet rag on my face. It was perhaps one of the most painful experiences of my life as well as most embarassing.

Writing Prompt 22: Oops- forgot about that!

Must have traction on boots in order to walk on ice.

Writing Prompt #21: Asparagus. Eggplant. Cauliflower

Butter, Salt, Garlic