Monday, August 2, 2010

the year of elephants


i go to barnes & noble because it's that time of year again
time to buy a planner for the upcoming year and since my job is at a school,
my planner runs on an academic year and barnes & noble is full of academic planners.
i rush around the store looking for their summer display an finally come to the table full of planners.
this year, the selection is smaller,
but the designs are more interesting.
i look through everyone but all the while i know i am going to get the one that has the cover with elephants.
the elephants are each filled with an artsy design, all different shapes and sizes
some of the elephants are small, some small and some are holding each other's tails by their trunks
i get excited about this purchase, i get excited to fill the pages with dates and birthdays and things to do and notes
i walk away with an excitement i can't quite explain and i must remember this feeling when i find myself wanting a life without schedule and routine and stability.
i must remind myself that there is a very large part of me, perhaps bigger than the free-spirited part of me,
that loves loves LOVES a new planner.
on the subway ride home,  i begin filling in plans i have made and birthdays i can remember. i start to think about the year ahead and the year so far and i look back at the cover to admire the elephants
why was i drawn to these elephants?
certainly there were prettier designs
one had a beautiful silhouette of a peony
but there was something about elephants and these particular elephants that i wanted to see every day sometimes several times of days
and then it came to me, this is the year of elephants
so many huge events have already happened this year and so many more i feel are going to happen
and even at my lowest point, i feel a strength inside me that always comforts me, assures me, that no matter what i will always walk out of the fire
i like the elephant for its strength, its gentleness, its wildness, but also its memory.
the more i examined each elephant the more i felt at peace with the coming year
and maybe, just maybe, i'll create a couple stampedes of my own.

2 comments:

daleboca said...

i love the elephants too and was looking at planners in B &N (where I rarely go) today as well. WEIRD. You are much more attractive than an elephant but definitely as strong and gentle as one. I like your new colors on the page as well. A domani!

Carmen said...

whenever someone asks me what my favorite animal is (the subject comes up in my line of work) i always say an elephant. i'm not sure if it's true - i don't know a lot of elephants, but there's something about them that i think i love.