Tuesday, May 26, 2009

A Letter To The Oppressed:

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

Do not fear the hate in the world. We have a light that even for those who refuse to open their eyes to it, we can all feel the power of its glow.
Do not fear the obstacles we have faced and will continue to face, because never in United States History has a civil rights movement lost to its oppressors.
Do not fear the naysayers. They are the ones that need the most love of all.
Do not hate the hateful for their fear is more imprisoning than any propositions they impose on us.
Do not go gently for the fight has only begun and you can't stop a moving train.
Do not weep because we need your voices to be as loud and bold as ever.
Do not lose hope because it is the most powerful tool we have.
Be brave, brothers and sisters.
We have only just begun.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

the importance of cooking a meal together

we wash and we cut
we pepper and salt
we marinate in balsamic vinegar
the grease from the burgers drips tiny bits of fuel to the steady flame
we drink a beer and admire the garden he has made while our food simmers in the background
we laugh and we take deep breaths
even though both of us have terrible allergies
we grill the wheat buns and take out the healthy vegetable based buttery spread
we skew the corn and cut into the delicate mushroom
each bite feels like an awakening of the senses
i can't remember the last time we cooked together
he agrees it has been a long time
we finish every bite
bellies full, smiles wide, we clean up
and follow it all with a bowl of chocolate chip ice cream.

Monday, May 18, 2009

the melting pot

i have a confession
on saturday, i spent two and half hours eating fondue
and i did not go for a run
saturday night, i spent hours drinking and laughing
and on sunday morning i did not go for a run
i am now badly in need of a run as my protruding belly can attest to
but damn it felt good to just relax and to forgive myself these runs even though i had plenty of time and lots of reasons to do them
it felt good to have a weekend where i did what i wanted rather than what i thought i should do.
cheers to free-wheelin' weekends!

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

la maestra

tengo una amiga que tambien es mi maestra
ella es muy cómica y muy inteligente
he aprendido mucho sobre español
pero, no puedo hablar en español
(no todavía)
pero, mi maestra tiene mucha paciencia
espero que pueda hablar pronto
porque, me gusta español
y me gusta mi amiga

Thursday, May 7, 2009

i forgot about you

i forgot about you, blog
the same way i forget me
and how i can persuade myself so damn thoroughly
i forget just how much i love him
am grateful for him
like a lavender growing in the green moss around the canoes
i remember you, lavender, from last spring
and only now do i see how much you were missed
how beautiful you were and are
and how self possessed I was that I didn't even notice your passing
i forget about cycles and life, my life in particular
how march also turns bittersweet in the beginning of the month when i know in my gut that i should call my mother to wish her happy birthday and then i do and it makes me sad all over
she is always nervous when she talks to me and i want to reach through the phone and hug her and tell her that i'm sorry and i, too, also wish that none of that, none of this ever happened
i want to tell her that i love her and mean it
but instead i hang up and am left with a metallic taste in my mouth and salt on lips
like march melting onto april
making it slushy, dirty, unsure just what the fuck it wants to be
i was twelve and grandpa died
april 26th
i gave one of the eulogies
shel died in april, too,
but i think i cried at that funeral
maybe not
april always felt like death
stunk like rot, mildew
as the seasons pretended to change in los angeles
and collide in new york
i always find myself at the bottom of self-pitying sink hole of misery at some point in the year.
and i think more often then not it's in april.
i forget to say i'm sorry and that i know it's tough
i forget to tell myself that i really am doing the best i can even though i always believe i am not doing enough
i forget about the good things in my life
like a family who thinks i'm brave, friends that think i'm funny, a boyfriend that thinks i'm sexy
and that i'm smart
i forget to say thank you
so here is a big one to it all