Wednesday, July 16, 2008

body language

the idea of body
imagine she, healthy
free of waves of cellulite worn like the dead weight of hardened plankton
unable to scrape off that rusty anchor

soft parts on top of hard parts, like the making of love between health and wealth
carelessness and precociosness melted into a dirty handshake
sick with the weight of image
rich in counterfeit beauty.

she wonders what it would be like to be friends with the girl in the box
to take joy in the curvacious folds of a formerly muscular body
pride in the contours of a new emerging body
forgiving of the places where she may have had too much fun.

the power of yearning to dance in this skin
wanting to embrace it with gentle caresses and loving fingertips
do away with the habits of clawing
and keep her nails short to remind of the grace in healing

the strength in sitting still in silver paint
curious to discover unchartered relaxation
the relief in acceptance over forbearance
wanting to shed the anxiety of "not good enough" like five, ten, or fifteen pounds when all she really should be is grateful.

finding freedom in brutal runs where the plain looks as endless as her satisfaction
the hotter it is. the better the punishment
in that self loathing, self gratifying kind of way
maybe she can run right out of her skin, or at least her own head for a little while.

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