Friday, April 11, 2008

to juliet

its 5 am and i can't sleep.
i am having nightmares
i am hot
i am uncomfortable
i keep thinking about how much pain my little cousin is in
the pretty one who has always been incredibly sensitive and incredibly sweet
i remember babysitting her when i was 18, a college freshman
i did not have many friends that year, hardly any
so i spent my weekends at my uncle's house
she is now in high school and way more popular and beautiful than any of us ever were
she seemed to skip that ugly duckling phase as if god knew that she was always more of a swan
she has lost her romeo
i assume it is her first love
she is fourteen years old and i worry about her and what this will now do to her
how will this affect her?
somewhere a mother has lost her son
a father is quoted, "a father is not supposed to bury his son."
how do people recover? how do we heal?
i tell my aunt that i will write my cousin a letter as if it is any consolation
but i have to do something even though i know there is nothing.

1 comment:

sara said...

So glad you are back, and I like the new arrangement. Some of us had given up hope.

This post makes me sad, for your cousin but also because it takes me back to being 14, when life was both so much more simple and so much more complicated.