Monday, April 14, 2008

sunset in new jersey

my desk overlooks what looks like a hundred trees and an the best slice of the Raritan River.
Green buds are starting to fill in the spaces between the branches and when the sun sets it reflects off the river giving me silhouettes and colors and clouds that i can't quite describe yet.
there is a bird nesting right outside our window and even though we know that in a few weeks we will want to kill a handful of loud chicks, for today, we let the bird continue to nest.
i wrote today without fear, but not without distraction.
but two characters were born and now the real work begins.
i feel like i am finally over the initial panic attacks that choked me at the beginning of the move.
we are settled and the room is exactly how it should be now.
i am breathing but more importantly, i'm enjoying each breath.
something was different about today.
if happiness is really a choice, i wonder if its the same for confidence and courage.
i walk with my friend, the one i love like a sister, near Central Park
she is explaining a story about her sister and her niece and going to the park.
she tells me that when she taught toddlers it wasn't just about what they were going to do once they got to the park.
it was about getting ready for the park and putting your coats on and gathering any toys or snacks...
"it was more about going to the park then the actual park. there was a lesson in each part."
and for the rest of the weekend that sits with me. somewhere between my subconscious and reality.
and today became about every part of the day.
it was an awesome one.

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